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小品剧本:2015年搞笑英语小品剧本《西游记》(英文版小品剧本)经典台词
2015年搞笑英语小品剧本《西游记》(英文版小品剧本)
Pig Guy has been defeated by Monkey King
唐僧拉着孙悟空衣服上场
唐僧:I’m from the east ,go to the west,to seek for the scriptures.
悟空:Master,are you tired.let’s have a rest```
唐僧:I am fine.let’s have a rest later.(唐僧继续唱了一遍)
悟空:Master,are you tired.let’s have a rest
唐僧:I am fine.(唐僧继续唱)
悟空:master,can you stop,.
唐僧: I’m from the east ,go to the west,to seek for the scriptures.
悟空:shut up,I can’t stand you any longer.I beg you stop!I feel mad!you are singing all the time!
唐僧:Is like a noisy?
悟空:No,it’s sweet sounding!But today I don’t want to listen music!So,please don’t sing!
唐僧:Ok,go ahead!I am``(唐僧刚想唱,悟空回头,师停止)
(走着走着,看到一房子)
唐僧:Look! There is a house over there.
悟空:really!let’s me have a look!
(空飞奔过去打探情况,在墙外跳了一圈,回去报告)
悟空:Answer my master!there is a beauty and a old couple.
唐僧:Knock the door!
悟空:(空过去像土匪一样敲门)Open the door! (门没开,悟空回来)
唐僧:You should be polite!like this````
(上海滩音乐起,师大步向前,敲门)
唐僧:Excuse me, sir. I am the monk from the east.(大声三遍,门房才开)
小媳妇(做哭状):爹、妈,我……
Daddy, mommy, I, I …
老头: Honey, hurry up. The spirit is coming soon.
(小媳妇走几步又回头跑回老妈的怀里,抱头痛哭。老头在一边叹息,擦泪。)
唐僧、悟空走进)
唐僧:Excuse me, sir. I am the monk from the east. Can we stay over here tonight?
老头(做哽咽状):Oh, you are the monk from the east. Sure. Sure, come in, please ……别过脸去继续哭泣)
(唐僧正在奇怪,老妈闻声抬起头,仔细打量唐僧,突然扑到唐僧面前。)
老妈: Master, please save my daughter, save my family…
唐僧: Don’t be sad, madam. Take it easy. What happened?
老头: Master, there is a spirit here. He wants to marry my daughter, tonight. We are all afraid of him.
唐僧: Calm down, sir. My apprentice has great capability. Maybe, he can help you.
老头:Really!Where he is?
(悟空过来,亮肌肉)
老头:A monkey?
唐僧:Yes!He is a monkey.A super monkey.
老头: Alas! , master, there have been many people who boast to be very capable. But every time, they were defeated by the spirit. You’d better keep away tonight.
悟空: What? Is the spirit really so strong? I’d like to see how great he is. All of you
just stay inside. Don’t come out no matter what happens.
这时起了风声(音乐),老头一家吓得站起来混身发抖。小媳妇吓得直往老妈怀里钻。悟空镇定
地举手示意,让师傅及老头一家人躲到房间里面去。自己也手搭凉篷看了看,便不慌不忙地也躲
在了门后,露出一段红袖子。
猪八戒(大笑着耀武扬威地走上场来,嘴里大喊):Darling, here I am.
站在台上停一下,见没有动静,觉得奇怪,往房屋里看去,见露出一段红袖子,高兴地一拍手掌。
八戒: Darling,don’t be so shy! Please come to me. Come on, we will be a couple.
猪八戒跑上去轻轻拉住红袖子,把小娘子拖了出来,小娘子作出害羞的样子,有时又做出猴子的模样。
八戒: Darling,don’t be afraid. Although I am ugly, I am so powerful. I am sure that I
can make you happy.
小娘子笑着点头,抓耳挠腮。
八戒: Darling, why do you look like a monkey ?
小娘子: When I am happy, I always tickle.
八戒: Fine, let’s go to the bedroom.
八戒拉住小娘子就往房子里面钻。小娘子作出动脑筋的样子,又把八戒拉回来。
八戒: Darling. Why are you so powerful?
小娘子: Honey, your appearance will frighten my parents. We’d better go to your home.
八戒: Go to my house?OK. that’s a great idea. Let’s go.
两人走了几步,小女子做出腿疼摔了一下的样子,八戒忙扶起她,作出痛惜的样子。
小女子: I cannot walk any further. Can you carry me on your back?
八戒: Carry you on my back? All right. You're my wife after all. Come on.
八戒把小女子背上: Darling, Let's go.
小女子(在八戒头上一点):Okay. Let’s go.
音乐响起(直到八戒摔倒)。八戒在台上走一圈,做出越走越慢,越走越累的样子。小女子在他背上抓耳挠腮,非常高兴。
八戒: Darling, why are you so heavy?
小女子: Do you think so? Don't you want to carry me?)
八戒: Yes, I do. I do.
继续艰难地走。小女子得意地在背上笑。八戒体力不支,玉兰一脚把八戒踢到!小女子倒地之后,
做出摔疼了的样子在那里呻吟。八戒听到女子的呻吟,忙东张西望找小媳妇。
八戒: Darling, are you OK? Darling, where are you? Why can't I see you?
女子(偷偷地笑,再装作痛苦的样子):Honey, I am here.
八戒: Darling. Why did you go up there?
小女子: That's your fault.
八戒: Sorry, darling. I’m very sorry.
小女子: You look so tired, and I feel sore. Let’s have a rest.
八戒: Have a rest? That’s a good idea. Let’s have a rest.
八戒听了高兴地坐在下面休息,小女子仔细地打量他。
小女子(撒娇地):Honey, how can I marry you? I don’t even know where you come from. You must tell me the truth first.
八戒: Alas! Don’t mention it ,I was Tianpeng marshal .I could fly between the heave and the word !Only because I made a big mistake! That day , I was wandering in the heaven street!I saw a beauty! Her name is :嫦娥!(刹那回头开始回想)
嫦娥翩然而至,两人互视5秒,叫着对方名字奔跑向拥抱。走进后,
八戒唱歌:你是我的玫瑰•••••(嫦娥感动)
再唱:你是我的情人••••
两人深情对视。。。音乐莫扎特 第40号交响曲 起,跳舞,
突然,玉帝出现。八戒放手,嫦娥没站好摔倒,
八戒:My lord! It’s not my fault! I beg you pardon!
玉帝:How dare you do that!? You are hung together!
嫦娥起,跑到玉帝跟前撒娇
嫦娥:Daring! He ``he tease me! He tease me!
玉帝怒!:Ya! Tianpeng ,I will punish you! Turn you as a pig! A ugly pig!
嫦娥:my lord! Where should we go for dinner tonight?
玉帝:what about 天骄园?
嫦娥:(撒娇)no no !let’s go to the 紫荆园!there have air condition !
玉帝: That’s Ok .My daring!
回想结束,
八戒:I was punished by yudi .So I became a pig! That’s why I was so ugly!
玉兰:You look too ugly to meet people.
八戒: I didn’t want to come here. Nanhai Guanyin asked me to wait for Tangseng. I've been
waiting for a long time, but nobody has come. It’s lucky to meet you here. (八戒高兴地过去想拉小女子的手)
小女子(把手甩开):You said that you were an immortal in the heaven . Why can’t you carry me? It’s impossible!
八戒: I am really the immortal. Why don’t you believe me?
小女子 Show me some gongfu then.
八戒: OK, let me show you my gongfu.
从石头后拿出钉钯,舞了起来。小女子暗暗点头。当八戒的钉色舞到小女子面前时,被小女子一把抓住,往石山后面一拖,八戒被拖了过去。
八戒: Darling. Why are you so strong?
小女子: Pull me out if you can .
八戒做出用力拖的样子,没有发现拖出来的却是悟空。悟空一松手,八戒摔倒在地。
八戒: How could you let me fall down? Don’t kid any longer.
悟空大笑: You Silly! Look at me. Who am I?
八戒一看, My god! You are Mahatma!
八戒转身想跑,被悟空拦住,猪八戒甩开孙悟空,双方对峙了一会儿,猪八戒poping,
八戒: Can you?
悟空: yes,I can’t, so what, I will fight you.
悟空一拳往八戒脸上打,八戒顿时感到一种压力和害怕。
悟空: Dare you wive yet?
八戒: No, no. I dare not. Please forgive me, Mahatma.
悟空: I bet you dare not.
悟空放开,八戒转身想跑,被悟空一把抓住耳朵,疼得直叫。
悟空: You silly, where are you going?
八戒: I'll never make trouble any more. Why don't you let me go?
悟空;;You silly, I'm taking you to meet the sutra-seeker.
八戒: What? Has Tangseng come?
悟空: Yes. Let's go!
两人在台上走半圈,来到房前。
悟空: Master, please come out! The spirit has been defeated !
唐僧等人走了出来,老头一家还有些战战兢兢。
悟空: You silly, kneel down to meet your master.
八戒:Master, nice to meet you here.
唐僧:My prentice, what's up?
悟空: Master, he will accompany you to the west at Guanyin's behest.
唐僧:I see! Thank Guanyin! Since then, I will take you as my prentice and name you Bajie.
八戒: Thank you, my master!
唐僧:Let's go ahead, my prentices.
八戒此时并不想走,于是…….
Master, I don’t want to go, I don’t.
悟空:Bajie, there is nothing to attach to. you’d better go with us.
八戒此时似乎想起了什么‘
Bajie:How old are you gulu youwe.
Sun:I’m twenty gulu youwe.
Bajie:Do you like poping gulu youwe.
Tang:I can’t poping gulu youwe.
Bajie:So,I don’t want to go with you.
八戒与唐僧对唱《321对不起》
唱毕,唐僧与悟空拉着八戒走,八戒深情的看着玉兰。
Wulan:Seeking scripture is so hard,you should try your us on.
八戒又对着玉兰的爹。
Yu’s dad:You leave ,don’t back.
八戒此时已无可留恋….
Bajie :Master,let’s go…
傍着音乐,师徒三人离开了高老庄。
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