小品剧本：2015年搞笑英语小品剧本《西游记》（英文版小品剧本）经典台词

　　2015年搞笑英语小品剧本《西游记》(英文版小品剧本)

　　Pig Guy has been defeated by Monkey King

　　唐僧拉着孙悟空衣服上场

　　唐僧:I’m from the east ,go to the west,to seek for the scriptures.

　　悟空:Master,are you tired.let’s have a rest```

　　唐僧:I am fine.let’s have a rest later.(唐僧继续唱了一遍)

　　悟空：Master,are you tired.let’s have a rest

　　唐僧:I am fine.(唐僧继续唱)

　　悟空：master,can you stop,.

　　唐僧: I’m from the east ,go to the west,to seek for the scriptures.

　　悟空:shut up,I can’t stand you any longer.I beg you stop!I feel mad!you are singing all the time!

　　唐僧：Is like a noisy?

　　悟空：No,it’s sweet sounding!But today I don’t want to listen music!So,please don’t sing!

　　唐僧：Ok,go ahead!I am``(唐僧刚想唱，悟空回头，师停止)

　　(走着走着，看到一房子)

　　唐僧：Look! There is a house over there.

　　悟空：really!let’s me have a look!

　　(空飞奔过去打探情况，在墙外跳了一圈，回去报告)

　　悟空：Answer my master!there is a beauty and a old couple.

　　唐僧：Knock the door!

　　悟空：(空过去像土匪一样敲门)Open the door! (门没开，悟空回来)

　　唐僧：You should be polite!like this````

　　(上海滩音乐起，师大步向前，敲门)

　　唐僧：Excuse me, sir. I am the monk from the east.(大声三遍，门房才开)

　　小媳妇(做哭状)：爹、妈，我……

　　Daddy, mommy, I, I …

　　老头： Honey, hurry up. The spirit is coming soon.

　　(小媳妇走几步又回头跑回老妈的怀里，抱头痛哭。老头在一边叹息，擦泪。)

　　唐僧、悟空走进)

　　唐僧：Excuse me, sir. I am the monk from the east. Can we stay over here tonight?

　　老头(做哽咽状)：Oh, you are the monk from the east. Sure. Sure, come in, please ……别过脸去继续哭泣)

　　(唐僧正在奇怪，老妈闻声抬起头，仔细打量唐僧，突然扑到唐僧面前。)

　　老妈： Master, please save my daughter, save my family…

　　唐僧： Don’t be sad, madam. Take it easy. What happened?

　　老头： Master, there is a spirit here. He wants to marry my daughter, tonight. We are all afraid of him.

　　唐僧： Calm down, sir. My apprentice has great capability. Maybe, he can help you.

　　老头：Really!Where he is?

　　(悟空过来，亮肌肉)

　　老头：A monkey?

　　唐僧：Yes!He is a monkey.A super monkey.

　　老头： Alas! , master, there have been many people who boast to be very capable. But every time, they were defeated by the spirit. You’d better keep away tonight.

　　悟空： What? Is the spirit really so strong? I’d like to see how great he is. All of you

　　just stay inside. Don’t come out no matter what happens.

　　这时起了风声(音乐)，老头一家吓得站起来混身发抖。小媳妇吓得直往老妈怀里钻。悟空镇定

　　地举手示意，让师傅及老头一家人躲到房间里面去。自己也手搭凉篷看了看，便不慌不忙地也躲

　　在了门后，露出一段红袖子。

　　猪八戒(大笑着耀武扬威地走上场来，嘴里大喊):Darling, here I am.

　　站在台上停一下，见没有动静，觉得奇怪，往房屋里看去，见露出一段红袖子，高兴地一拍手掌。

　　八戒： Darling,don’t be so shy! Please come to me. Come on, we will be a couple.

　　猪八戒跑上去轻轻拉住红袖子，把小娘子拖了出来，小娘子作出害羞的样子，有时又做出猴子的模样。

　　八戒： Darling,don’t be afraid. Although I am ugly, I am so powerful. I am sure that I

　　can make you happy.

　　小娘子笑着点头，抓耳挠腮。

　　八戒： Darling, why do you look like a monkey ?

　　小娘子： When I am happy, I always tickle.

　　八戒： Fine, let’s go to the bedroom.

　　八戒拉住小娘子就往房子里面钻。小娘子作出动脑筋的样子，又把八戒拉回来。

　　八戒： Darling. Why are you so powerful?

　　小娘子： Honey, your appearance will frighten my parents. We’d better go to your home.

　　八戒： Go to my house?OK. that’s a great idea. Let’s go.

　　两人走了几步，小女子做出腿疼摔了一下的样子，八戒忙扶起她，作出痛惜的样子。

　　小女子： I cannot walk any further. Can you carry me on your back?

　　八戒： Carry you on my back? All right. You're my wife after all. Come on.

　　八戒把小女子背上： Darling, Let's go.

　　小女子(在八戒头上一点)：Okay. Let’s go.

　　音乐响起(直到八戒摔倒)。八戒在台上走一圈，做出越走越慢，越走越累的样子。小女子在他背上抓耳挠腮，非常高兴。

　　八戒： Darling, why are you so heavy?

　　小女子： Do you think so? Don't you want to carry me?)

　　八戒： Yes, I do. I do.

　　继续艰难地走。小女子得意地在背上笑。八戒体力不支，玉兰一脚把八戒踢到!小女子倒地之后，

　　做出摔疼了的样子在那里呻吟。八戒听到女子的呻吟，忙东张西望找小媳妇。

　　八戒： Darling, are you OK? Darling, where are you? Why can't I see you?

　　女子(偷偷地笑，再装作痛苦的样子)：Honey, I am here.

　　八戒： Darling. Why did you go up there?

　　小女子： That's your fault.

　　八戒： Sorry, darling. I’m very sorry.

　　小女子： You look so tired, and I feel sore. Let’s have a rest.

　　八戒： Have a rest? That’s a good idea. Let’s have a rest.

　　八戒听了高兴地坐在下面休息，小女子仔细地打量他。

　　小女子(撒娇地)：Honey, how can I marry you? I don’t even know where you come from. You must tell me the truth first.

　　八戒： Alas! Don’t mention it ，I was Tianpeng marshal .I could fly between the heave and the word !Only because I made a big mistake! That day , I was wandering in the heaven street!I saw a beauty! Her name is :嫦娥!(刹那回头开始回想)

　　嫦娥翩然而至，两人互视5秒，叫着对方名字奔跑向拥抱。走进后，

　　八戒唱歌：你是我的玫瑰•••••(嫦娥感动)

　　再唱：你是我的情人••••

　　两人深情对视。。。音乐莫扎特 第40号交响曲 起，跳舞，

　　突然，玉帝出现。八戒放手，嫦娥没站好摔倒，

　　八戒：My lord! It’s not my fault! I beg you pardon!

　　玉帝：How dare you do that!? You are hung together!

　　嫦娥起，跑到玉帝跟前撒娇

　　嫦娥：Daring! He ``he tease me! He tease me!

　　玉帝怒!：Ya! Tianpeng ,I will punish you! Turn you as a pig! A ugly pig!

　　嫦娥：my lord! Where should we go for dinner tonight?

　　玉帝：what about 天骄园?

　　嫦娥：(撒娇)no no !let’s go to the 紫荆园!there have air condition !

　　玉帝： That’s Ok .My daring!

　　回想结束，

　　八戒：I was punished by yudi .So I became a pig! That’s why I was so ugly!

　　玉兰：You look too ugly to meet people.

　　八戒： I didn’t want to come here. Nanhai Guanyin asked me to wait for Tangseng. I've been

　　waiting for a long time, but nobody has come. It’s lucky to meet you here. (八戒高兴地过去想拉小女子的手)

　　小女子(把手甩开)：You said that you were an immortal in the heaven . Why can’t you carry me? It’s impossible!

　　八戒： I am really the immortal. Why don’t you believe me?

　　小女子 Show me some gongfu then.

　　八戒： OK, let me show you my gongfu.

　　从石头后拿出钉钯，舞了起来。小女子暗暗点头。当八戒的钉色舞到小女子面前时，被小女子一把抓住，往石山后面一拖，八戒被拖了过去。

　　八戒： Darling. Why are you so strong?

　　小女子： Pull me out if you can .

　　八戒做出用力拖的样子，没有发现拖出来的却是悟空。悟空一松手，八戒摔倒在地。

　　八戒： How could you let me fall down? Don’t kid any longer.

　　悟空大笑： You Silly! Look at me. Who am I?

　　八戒一看， My god! You are Mahatma!

　　八戒转身想跑，被悟空拦住，猪八戒甩开孙悟空，双方对峙了一会儿，猪八戒poping，

　　八戒： Can you?

　　悟空: yes，I can’t, so what, I will fight you.

　　悟空一拳往八戒脸上打，八戒顿时感到一种压力和害怕。

　　悟空： Dare you wive yet?

　　八戒： No, no. I dare not. Please forgive me, Mahatma.

　　悟空： I bet you dare not.

　　悟空放开，八戒转身想跑，被悟空一把抓住耳朵，疼得直叫。

　　悟空： You silly, where are you going?

　　八戒： I'll never make trouble any more. Why don't you let me go?

　　悟空;;You silly, I'm taking you to meet the sutra-seeker.

　　八戒： What? Has Tangseng come?

　　悟空： Yes. Let's go!

　　两人在台上走半圈，来到房前。

　　悟空： Master, please come out! The spirit has been defeated !

　　唐僧等人走了出来，老头一家还有些战战兢兢。

　　悟空： You silly, kneel down to meet your master.

　　八戒：Master, nice to meet you here.

　　唐僧：My prentice, what's up?

　　悟空： Master, he will accompany you to the west at Guanyin's behest.

　　唐僧：I see! Thank Guanyin! Since then, I will take you as my prentice and name you Bajie.

　　八戒： Thank you, my master!

　　唐僧：Let's go ahead, my prentices.

　　八戒此时并不想走，于是…….

　　Master, I don’t want to go, I don’t.

　　悟空：Bajie, there is nothing to attach to. you’d better go with us.

　　八戒此时似乎想起了什么‘

　　Bajie：How old are you gulu youwe.

　　Sun:I’m twenty gulu youwe.

　　Bajie:Do you like poping gulu youwe.

　　Tang:I can’t poping gulu youwe.

　　Bajie:So,I don’t want to go with you.

　　八戒与唐僧对唱《321对不起》

　　唱毕，唐僧与悟空拉着八戒走，八戒深情的看着玉兰。

　　Wulan:Seeking scripture is so hard,you should try your us on.

　　八戒又对着玉兰的爹。

　　Yu’s dad:You leave ,don’t back.

　　八戒此时已无可留恋….

　　Bajie :Master,let’s go…

　　傍着音乐，师徒三人离开了高老庄。